In the summer of 2011, Mistress Roulette attended the premier event of a new BDSM night club opening near the Los Angeles airport. She was greeted by the proprietor of the club with recognition as a BDSM therapist who had a well known pod cast. Mistress Roulette’s account of the evening indicated the proprietor applauded her efforts, despite some playful banter was had on the pod cast at the proprietor’s expense. The evening at the club was accounted to include many of the patrons recognizing Mistress Roulette and engaging her in accounts of therapy types of subjects. To my estimation, this account indicates successfully obtaining the overtly stated goal of Mistress Roulettte’s pod-cast endeavor which was started two years earlier. This goal being to offer free content in an unapologetic attempt to gain visibility to her psycosexual therapy services. Clearly she is now a fixture of the BDSM community in Los Angeles as well as known around the country and internationally to some extent.
I have now listened to all 45 of the currently available pod casts. This amounts to 83+ hrs of kitchen table talk between a young couple and occasional friends and guests covering the gamete of BDSM interpersonal issues. The format is very much like the Howard Stern broadcast, but with BDSM topics instead. What comes through is the inner struggle necessary for self discovery. At the start, the fledgling couple profess a form of egalitarian dynamic with frequent bedroom scenes. This is commonly known as a man being a "bedroom" submissive, with the D/s dynamic ending when the scene ends. Mistress Roulette also staunchly opposed any concession to concepts of female superiority. Instead, she encouraged a "healthy" approach to living a kinky lifestyle.
As the pod casts continue, it is clear if Mistress Roulette was a nutritionist, the only thing on the menu would be tofu and bean sprouts. When listening to the pod casts, if one drops a nickel into a coffee can every time she utters the word "healthy" there would be a king’s ransom come the last word being uttered. She seems to negate the fact that many Americans enjoy eating fast food, something a nutritionist would demand be stopped. However, it is of enjoyment and convenience to indulge in American fast food, and most do routinely. So to, the style of BDSM she outlines negates the indulgences so many in the community enjoy. In fact, I do not think there was any guest she had on the pod cast that was like minded. The female superiority issue was embraced by Sir Nick, and the concept of 24/7 service submission embraced by Goddess Leeann and Jonathan. Both were concepts Mistress Roulette found unhealthy. However, as a congenial form of table talk, ideas and beliefs on the subjects surrounding BDSM lifestyles were openly discussed and countering opinions were welcomed. She never faulted someone for having a differing belief. Further, she would digest new concepts and sometimes make changes when she felt a change in her stances was warranted.
To Mistress Roulette, the concepts of 24/7 service submission as put forth by Ms. Rika and Ken Addison in their two books is again seen as unhealthy. To me it came across as hyper-cerebral over analysis with a guarded stance against anything harmful where a lifestyle accepted by so many was voided. In her desire to put her undergraduate psychology studies to practice and to express a need to help others, it is clear listening to the pod casts that Mistress Roulette is a good source for someone who is hurt from past experiences to come to for help. Her ability to make connections from past harmful situations into present behavior is quite well developed. However, this also makes her extremely guarded against anything harmful (al la bean sprouts and tofu alone on the menu). For someone who was force fed battery acid by someone trusted in the past (perhaps sexual abuse or some other horrid experience), a menu of bean sprouts and tofu may well be good for a spell in order to get all the battery acid out of their system. A menu of bean sprouts and tofu though I do not feel would be readily accepted by the wider BDSM community.
The seminal moment in the pod casts in my estimation is a moment of brilliant self discovery by Mistress Roulette. She realizes why she has become sexually estranged from her newlywed submissive husband. Since they practice an egalitarian relationship and he is the bread winner, he makes the financial decisions. This is also due to him having well developed financial skills. He chose to purchase a "queening stool". He suggested on the pod cast that it was for a video shoot he was planning, but alluded to Mistress Roulette using it on him. It is clear this was a desire of his he was attempting to make reality. Mistress Roulette realized that he was topping from the bottom. She was unable to confront him on this directly in a forceful way due to their egalitarian dynamic, but was able to make the connection as to why this caused a death spiral in her sexual desires to him. She had a period of sexual abuse as a child and her abuser manipulated her into a similar circumstance. Her newlywed husband doing the same had made her depressed, but these feeling only on a subconscious level and leading to a disinterest in things sexual with him. This realization of the source of the feelings was a moment of clarity for Mistress Roulette and a clear breakthrough in her newly wed relationship with her submissive husband. Her submissive husband attempted to manipulate the situation indicating he had bought the stool just for the video shoot, but the cat was now out of the bag. He had been caught. Further, Mistress Roulette had made a vital connection about herself. She now knows when she is subjected to topping from the bottom by a submissive man, she becomes depressed due to the past abuse.
From here, the pod casts change in tone. It is then clear that Mistress Roulette is taking a more dominant stance and seemed to be altering her beliefs on egalitarian principles in the strict sense they engaged in during their courtship. This vetting of personal self discovery is what makes the pod casts so compelling to listen to. Mistress Roulette at first is a staunch opponent to the polyamory lifestyle. She has a guest on who holds a differing view and finds she needed to adjust her opinion. Her subsequent grappling with the complex emotions on the issue bleeds honesty into the conversation. It is a reoccurring theme of the pod casts that the process of vetting so common in therapy sessions that require coming to terms with hidden and underlying issues is a healthy process and one that leads to life long self discovery. It is this principle that Mistress Roulette masterfully conveys to the listener. The skill of doing so is then developed in the listener and as a result, Mistress Roulette is successful in fulfilling her desire to help others. It is something I am very grateful for her providing as a gift to the BDSM community.
If one is looking for a single of her pod casts to listen to, I recommend the one titled “A Farewell to Departed Friends”. It is my favorite of the entire pod cast series.
Mistress Roulette Chatelaine's Diary of a Dominatrix pod casts can be found on iTunes.
She additionally maintains the below YouTube channel:
http://www.youtube.com/user/MistressRoulette
0 comments:
Post a Comment