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With my wife’s decision to keep me in long term chastity since the fall of last year (I have only been let out once since), I have had the opportunity to experience the effects for the first time in my life. Recently, I have been horny a lot. I find in extended chastity I go through phases. I am always easily aroused, but there are definite periods where I am horny for days on end. These are days that it almost feels like I am continually making love to my wife without ever achieving the ending orgasm and it is a wonderful thing to experience. It allows me an inner joy and pleasure that outwardly comes across as being wrapped around my wife’s finger. In a word, ‘docile’.
I think I have enough experience in extended chastity to also put into words another subtlety I have discovered. Women are well known to be more empathetic. IMHO, it is one of the several skills they have that make them more of value in today’s society. I think in-part this is due to their awareness of subtle changes in their bodies stemming from their monthly cycles. This routine awareness also makes them aware of others and subtleties in them as well. For men, this is absent.
The reason I digressed to mention this is on extended chastity I have slowly become aware of subtleties in my body that have an emotional connection. The absence of the effects from male orgasm, I believe have allowed this ‘awareness’. For instance, I am allergic to tree pollen. I have taken antihistamines since I was a teenager. Last weekend I took some for a reaction I was having. I noticed I was emotionally unsettled and having a hard time getting them under control. After dinner, I excused myself to go lie down. The feeling passed in about thirty minutes. I believe I was having adrenalin released into my system, as my emotions were defensive and selfish, traits connected to the release of adrenalin. I have never noticed this connection before (i.e. a brief emotional change shortly after taking antihistamines).
Without the effects of a male orgasm, I know I am different. Yesterday, I gladly woke up early, cooked all the meals, kept the kitchen cleaned up, worked a full day at the office, put away my wife’s shopping, tended to the children during bedtime, did five loads of laundry, and ended the day massaging my wife’s feet for two hours. When I started with my wife’s foot massage, I expressed my appreciation with her leadership in a certain parental situation she has been addressing. All of this came as heartfelt honest expressions of my enjoyment of living docile to my wife. This is without question due to being in extended chastity.
I believe a submissive man (and dare I say all men) in a marriage, should be witheld frequent orgasms. A chastity device may well be needed to accomplish this. We are no longer needed in the same hunter-gatherer mode. A man is best served in a domestic setting when kept horny and chaste. I do recommend other couples try an extended chastity test period to see if what I suggest is not true. The man will undoubtedly become less argumentative, more sensitive, and docile to the woman he serves.
Yeah, that's the ultimate solution to overpopulation (short of castration)!
ReplyDeleteKidding aside: I doubt that many men will find long-term chastity desirable, and most women in will be in no position to demand it of their husbands. Nowadays, in western countries, they can deny them intercourse (which many will not want to do either), but this will not normally lead to male chastity. It is more likely to end up in the man having an affair...
Well, I guess the world in general is just not ready for your revolutionary ideas. - But maybe you will find enough volunteers to conduct a scientific study. It would be a start.
Ms. Tamara,
ReplyDeleteThx for the comment. You are absolutely correct men would mostly not find long term chastity desirable. I was the same way. In a D/s relationship, it could be directed from the wife and that was really the audience I was directing the suggestion to. Really the post was an attenpt to put my thoughts into writing. I have been wanting to for a few days.
Maybe in a generation or two, a woman will be given a chastity device when she gets married, as Ms. Kathy suggested may happen. Until then, I agree it will be an experience of submissive men living in open submissive to a woman who has accepted his gift of submissive and decided to direct him into long term chastity.
I know in your case, it is not something being considered and I of course welcome you to direct things in your relationship how you most enjoy and feel best.
-SH
I don't need convincing of the arguement for being kept in a chastity device, but Jane does....!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a long term goal of mine, but Jane has to want this.
Mr. @AT,
ReplyDeleteI too agree there is a big difference between being kept chaste, and a wife who is disengaged. We started with me simply being permitted to use it as I felt I needed. Now, I do not have the key, nor know where it is. I know I will not see it at least until after my wife starts her next job, and it very well may be longer on top of that. The job market being what it is, I do know I am more or less looking at a stint of semi-permanent chastity, but it does not frighten me as it use to. I can not explain why well as it is a complicated thing to try to put into words.
However, back to your point, I was just thinking this morning about how there is too a difference between being permitted to do chores and being told to do chores. One is simply a concession and the other an obligation. The latter is much more satisfying for a submissive, I have found, as it invokes the submissive contentment that subjection brings.
Hope things keep going well for you. Take care.
-SH
Do you not run the risk of the classic role reversal of the husband seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere whilst the loving wife is kept for domestic duties at home?
ReplyDeleteWhat if your wife found an 'Alpha Male' to satisfy her sexual needs?
Anon,
ReplyDeleteI encouraged her to do so. She decided to keep the relationship plutonic. I feel tremendous satisfaction and pleasure bringing her to an orgasm. I think that is why I too encourage her to seek sexual satisfaction with another man. To me the two are very similar. I know an emotional bond would be formed and I would welcome her enjoying that aspect as well. It is my hope that one day she would feel comfortable to do so and give him my key so he could know he would be the only one making love to her until he choose to return the key. Anyway, I doubt that day would ever come.
Thank you for the comment though.
-SH
"Plutonic relationship" sounds very dangerous. Could it be that you have read too many reports about Fukushima lately?
ReplyDeleteAs for the alpha males: Where would they come from in your future society full of chaste husbands? Will young men before marriage take over this role? But will young women want to marry these "used" men? And I thought you felt it best for any men to be kept in chastity. So you only consider it best for married men? Why? What's the fundamental difference in biochemistry between unmarried and married men? I'm a bit confused here.
Ms. Tamara,
ReplyDeleteMy apologies for the mis-spell of platonic and thank you for taking the time to correct me.
Funny you should ask. I was thinking this morning about a BBC article I read yesterday about the gender shift occurring there. The article is linked in my matriarchy section if you care to read it. With the evaporation of manufacturing jobs in the UK, and women holding an increasing advantage in the middle service sector, men are finding their options limited and it had bubbled into a political issue. In the near term as this societal shift continues, I can see many alpha males available to satisfy whims of some women with chaste husbands they keep at home for this domestic life. IMHO, it very well may be delineated by profession. For instance, men in labor types of jobs (i.e. construction and trades, would easily maintain alpha status as a chastity lifestyle would not really be conducive to their profession. Stay at home men and those working service sector jobs I feel will increasingly loose alpha status as the society continues to shift.
This is of course, simply conjecture on my part and has no factual basis. Just a fleeting thought.
Take care.
-SH
SH,
ReplyDeleteyour wife wants to keep your relationship *platonic*? I thought you *did* have sex, at least oral sex. Now I'm confused too. When you mentioned it first, I thought you were speaking about her and the potential alpha male in her life.
renė
Mr. Rene,
ReplyDeletePls excuse me. I screwed up the meaning of the word platonic, thinking it was a relationship between one man and one woman to the exclusion of others. For some reason I thought that was the meaning. The real definition is not accurate, because as you suggest, even though I am withheld orgasm, she enjoys them often. Intercourse has not occurred in over a year and its absence is really not missed. I would love to have intercourse with my wife, but because I ejaculate quickly the pleasure is one sided. When she wishes to indulge me, intercourse is really unnecessary. The need to indulge me is becoming less and less of a concern as my wife seems comfortable imposing extended chastity as a lifestyle for the management of my service to her. The romantic times we share are wonderful times of intimacy, but are not platonic, as you rightly point out.
Sorry for the confusion and thx for the correction.
-SH
Ah, I see. Thanks for clearing this up.
ReplyDeleterenė
Ok, I have to ask, is there an end date planned, is there a time in the future when you can expect a release or are you comfortable being confined indefinitely? And if you are granted a relase, are you worried that it may be a big let down for you and that it may be difficult to work yourself back to the point you are right now?
ReplyDeleteI remember when you started chastity, I kind of cringed in the way I thought you had foreced it onto your wife, but it looks like the two of you have adjusted well to it.
Interesting post, thanks for sharing.
Mr. LW,
ReplyDeletehello again. No, there is no date, but a qualification of her first starting her next job and yes, I am prepared for more-or-less permanent chastity. It is a twisted and complex reasoning, but really I do not have a choice any more. My wife decides and seems comfortable with me sexually frustrated. I do know from history to expect about a three week duration to return to the same state, which is why it seems better to just forgo. I do understand this and have come to accept a sexually frusttrated existence in a contented sort of way. Hope this helps.
thank you.
Respectfully,
-SH
With all due respect to what is obviously an amazingly good, fulfilling relationship you have achieved with your Wife and how you are fulfilling your calling to serve (which calling is why we male personnel are here at all), I have to suggest that the sort of male chastity you suggest is something unique and useful to your very specific methods of serving Her. From experience and direct observation, I would have to say that for most couples, most situations, what you describe would become counter-productive and eventually result in unpleasant consequences for the relationship
ReplyDeleteMr. Ravensron,
ReplyDeleteI do know most, if not all but a very small few men, would not voluntary sign up for such a situation. I do not believe that negates the biological benefits the relationship benefits from extended chastity of the man. I did expect many men, such as yourself, to color it as anomalous, but I am completely open to other views.
Your view is an interesting one. May I respectfully ask you expound? You use broad strokes to dismiss the premises that a submissive man should be kept in extended chastity. There are many, many, woman I can reference who agree with me. At the very least, a D/s couple should try a test to see if it is not beneficial. Surly you are not suggesting a couple trying a ‘test’ to be detrimental. I guess if a man is so addicted to orgasms that he flips out and goes postal during the test, but in that case a good argument could be made for the application of extended chastity reguardless.
Anyway, I look forward to your response.
Thank you for the comment.
-SH
We got our KBT last August, after my wife got irritated at the amount of time I spend watching internet porn on the weekends. I'm clamped from Friday evening to Monday morning. It really works, she's happy, and I am happy she's happy. Of course, she was already the boss before that.
ReplyDeleteSH, this is ravensron
ReplyDeleteWell, yes, I think most men are addicted to orgasms. This is not to say enforced chastity may not have benefits in a relationship. I'm not denigrating what you do, or what you've found or learned. Rather, I'm suggesting that most men, most of the time, with most women, will find long-term chastity sufficiently unpleasant that it will cause resentment rather than enhance submissiveness. I also question why it's necessary: if I'm serving Her then I'm doing so with as much diligence after orgasm as before/without. Now it happens, The Party of the Second Part does require "short-term" chastity of me, including using that certain plastic unmentionable, is: (a) interesting and exciting in its own right; (b) Her right and pleasure; (c) has some of the overall benefits you are finding in long-term chastity. BUT, we all live in a multi-faceted world. My submission is part of who I am, and part of our romantic life, but even though we always knew who we were from the first second we are a full-time, romantic, we love each other greatly couple, and my submission is only part of that. If Her sexual attraction to me was completely " he can't have sex with me" then I certainly would have to question why I'm here.
Mr. R.,
ReplyDeleteYour response is very well worded, and thanks for acknowledging that extended chastity does appear to be appropriate for the dynamic between my wife and me. I understand your view is the same is not true in most circumstances. I would agree from a male perspective this is true. Where we differ is if the view is the same from a female perspective. I hope you will allow me to expound.
For the moment, let’s put the male fear of lack of orgasm aside and look at the female perspective. You write “then I certainly would have to question why I'm here” concerning your principle purpose in the relationship being the ability to have intercourse with your wife. The inverse is almost always the case from a male view (i.e. the woman’s principle purpose is to have intercourse with the man), but it is my experience that women are in fact fine with infrequent intercourse most of the time. Again, it is my experience, that women have a paramount need from their man not for intercourse, but for intimacy. This comes from quite conversations, cuddling, and other platonic activities with romantic aspects. Further, intercourse is important in procreation and clearly a woman would want to do so with her husband. Also, the simple enjoyment of intercourse she may often wish. I find this is a much lower frequency though then what a man would prescribe if he were making the decisions. Instead, a pattern of infrequent intercourse with frequent oral sex seems to be a pattern most women enjoy with almost constant intimacy from their husbands. This, I believe is best achieved through extended chastity of the man, since he is emotionally connected and tuned in to her when kept chaste. Therefore, her paramount need is fulfilled.
Now, for the point you bring up about men being resentful at being kept in chastity. I once held the same view. All, I can say is on the other side of the rabbit hole, it is not as you might think. In fact, I think most men would agree, it is a life full of enjoyment and pleasure. Just not orgasmic. I do not think I could explain to you why. It would have to be something you experience for yourself. I believe if women would direct their men into extended chastity, both would live more contented lives and the relationship would benefit from the effects. This is why I respectfully recommend an extended chastity test.
I really do appreciate you expressing your view.
Sincerely,
-SH
Mr. Anon,
ReplyDeleteJust realized I didn’t respond to your comment. I try to do always.
Anyway, yes, the use of a chastity device on the weekends to break a masturbation habit at the direction of your wife is a good one. I bet some Sunday night, you will find the key ‘missing’ … Depending on your job, there is no reason it could not be warn all the time. I do, but if your job entails heavy lifting maybe not a great idea.
-SH
;-}
-SH
Does the chastity device prevent erections? I wonder if it would be a good way to train him not to have sexual thoughts about other women? The chastity should be 24/7 and only taken off when she decides to allow him to orgasm. I like that it means that he can't watch porn or masterbate. His mind will be completely mine. In fantasy, it sounds perfect but there are a lot of pratical things to think about too. Some people say thats its bad for his sperm count to wear a chastity device 24/7. What if I want to have children with him in the future? Also, I think men get erections during REM sleep and I heard that those are important for prostate health. Anyway, I don't know if my guy will let me do that , a lot won't , even men who are submissive . They find it too uncomfortable.
ReplyDeleteAnon,
ReplyDeleteNo. Male erections are impossible to stop w/o medication.
As to training, there are additions to chastity devices that can be added which cause pain in response to erections. I wear a mild one that causes an ache in response to prolonged erections.
I do find that helpful in remembering that sexual pleasure is for my wife's enjoyment and I am around for her to enjoy, but be with held sexual enjoyment myself. In my mind that is only proper in a D/s F/m relationship.
Such standards were often the case in converse under patriarchal situations.
take care.
-SH
I almost can't believe what I am about to type, but I've become convinced by your views.
ReplyDeleteMy Wife asked me (jokingly) if I would become her slave, after reading up on female supremacy on Saturday. I had dismissed it but looked into the subject out of sheer curiosity. One of the first things I came across was chastity, which I decided to ignore and move on to reading the other subjects.
While I have to say that I do not agree with females being superior to males in general, I am happy to let my wife take the lead in this relationship. There's not many other women I would do that for, though. The more I read on the other matters the more I realised it could be beneficial to me. If I'd put more faith in my wife and followed her advice more often I might've been in a better position than I am today. So I agreed, not expecting it to go anywhere. When I told her and saw how excited she seemed I realised she was only half joking.
I only came in to read this article wondering if it was a good idea to volunteer to give my wife this much control over me, essentially giving my wife a hostage to my good behaviour. I hadn't actually expected to be convinced I might get any enjoyment out of it.
I think I will broach the subject tonight. Thanks for sharing your insight, and sorry for the lengthy post.
Lynx,
DeleteI want to compliment you for having the confidence to take your wife up on her offer. I wish you the best and hope that you comment often on this or other blogs to keep us informed as to how your journey progresses. Thanks for sharing your story.
Mr. Lynx.
ReplyDeleteyou're welcome. It is my honor to be the sigil bearer for the cause.
-SH