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It seems like since we both read the “Around Her Finger” book several weeks ago, we have found a pattern that is working for both of us. My role is to use romance to gain my wife’s attention and please her into affection for me, and her role is to enjoy the process. I know this is a rather concise generalization, but in a sentence, that is about how it is working.
I have noticed, that not only are we in a pattern that we seem to be both more comfortable and that flows well for our lifestyles, but my wife is more comfortable following things she wants to do and directing my role into her enjoyment. For instance, this week after she ran on her treadmill, she intercomm’ed me to go start her bath. When she was done, she asked me to bring her dinner to her in the bedroom. These sound like small things, but she could of very easily ran her own bath and had dinner downstairs. She thought, “No, I want him to do it for me.” These kinds of things are becoming more and more common through our days.
Another one that happened this week, was she was finding she had to oversee our eldest child’s responsibilities being done, like hygiene, homework, and chores. After a conversation, it is now my responsibility to oversee as well as punish if the responsibilities are not met. She can then simply enjoy her time with the children. The oversight has also come with the stipulation that if the eldest child fails in one of his responsibilities, not only am I then responsible to oversee the punishment of no desert or play time for the child that night, but I will also be punished by having to give my wife a 90 minute foot massage w/o talking later that night.
Are you worried at all that your wife may become too distant from the family? If you are doing all of the childcare while she shuts herself away, even to eat her meals, how is that a positive thing for the kids in the long run?
ReplyDeleteAnd what kind of punishment is a 90 min. foot massage.....I mean really! lol
Anon,
ReplyDeletegood question and I can see how that may be the impression, but no, not at all. Her time with the children is now spent w/o the burden of having to oversee their responsibilities. She can just hang out with them, watch a movie, or play a game. She is very engaged with the kids.
That one night, her dinner was after her exercise routine. Even so, she still sat at the dinner table when we ate. She is not distant at all. Far from it.
As far as the punishment goes, I respectfully suggest it appropriate. An hour and a half at her feet without talking I think is appropriate for a minor infraction of the child mis-stepping under my oversight. It would give me a time to think about my position in the relationship and give me time to think about how to keep from letting it happen again, which is really the point.
-SH
Glad you both are finding what works best.
ReplyDeleteAm happy for the four of you. Glad to know a good rhythm is working out.
ReplyDeleteMr. VDB & WESS,
ReplyDeletethx. Now only if I can solve this lingering UnEmp situation.
;-}
-SH
One of the biggest myths is that it was only a womans job to raise children in the past.When most people lived on farms the whole family was one economic unit.And the father worked alongside his children.
ReplyDeleteBefore schools kids learned from their parents.Its not like the male peasant from the middle ages went to work with a briefcase every day while his wife stayed at home to do the dishes and look after the kids!
It was only when men began working in factories,mines and offices that fathers started to become distant to their kids.
When people talk about "traditional gender roles" they are often talking about middle class families in the 1950-60s.
I am glad that you are able to spend time with your kids .Hopefully more fathers will get the same opportunities .With telecommuting becoming more common, more and more fathers are becoming " mr mom".
BTW ,I am glad that you are still posting captioned photos.
Mr. Bob,
ReplyDeleteI totally agree. A good series to view life during the middle ages is Ken Follett’s “Pillars of the Earth” and “World Without End.” Not only do they describe family life back then as being like you suggest, but also, the concept of freedom and equality was completely non-existent. Life was based on a clearly defined chain of authority. Often the authority was female.
In my house, my wife is the decision maker. Last night, she choose a movie for us to watch and told me to put the children to bed early so we could watch it. It was not appropriate for them to see. This is how our family works, she makes decisions, I follow, and we are both happy.
-SH
I hope the unemployment problem has gotten better. You know, finding a job is a full-time job; are you sure you are putting enough time into it? I found my job through applying to ads on Craigslist, keeping a list of how many I had applied to, trying to follow up on each application, and also listing each application I had followed up on. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteLove your blog! I am covering a lot of the same issues in my blog where I recently covered why women cheat (http://lingeriebomb.com/?p=214) -- It seems like female led marriages are on the rise, and men playing a "beta male" role in the household is something that is only going to grow as we move forward as a culture. Keep up the great work on your blog here!
ReplyDeleteMistress Ashley,
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words. I sincerely wish I could follow your blog. My wife restricts my exposure to cuckold topics. I desperately wish to be cuckoded by her and kept as her domestic slave who she mostly maltreats and keeps in enforced chastity to remail docile to her authority.
-SH
would love to be your wife`s live in bull!
DeleteMick
Mr. Mick,
ReplyDeletemy wife and I watched a new reality series on Showtime called “Polyamorous: Married and Dating.” The thought of her feeling free to enjoy a man like you while I am kept as her domestic partner in enforced chastity is a sincere desire of mine. She, has yet to find value in such a dynamic.
Take care.
Sincerely,
-SH