As my new rules specify I am only going to be permitted an orgasm during intercourse, and only if my wife is enjoying the experience, I have been doing some research into ways I can optimize my chances on the evenings when I expect the opportunity to be available. First of all, my wife has put a moratorium on me even being able to try until next weekend due to me upsetting her on Friday stemming from a topping-from-the-bottom situation (which you can read about here if you wish).
We have two children and live pretty busy lives. Further, my wife is on-call during the evenings four nights a week. Due to children preventing sexual play amongst the parents until their bed time and the on-call schedule, I only have opportunity to initiate sexual contact three nights a week or if one of her on-call nights she remains free, after children are asleep. Our children are on a schedule where both are down with lights out at 8:00pm during the week and 8:30 on weekend nights. Knowing what my targets are is helpful as a first step.
Secondly, I have been doing some research on ways to initiate sexual contact to help with my need to ensure her desires are first awakened and then met. Without this requirement being satisfied, my sexual release will continue to be put off until I get it right. Below is a first crack at what my research has found;
1) If she decides to take an evening shower, join her
2) Cook her a special dinner
3) Keep your sexual desire for her know though the day by;
--a. Kissing her spontaneously
--b. Meaningful hugs
--c. Touching hips, legs, butt
4) Constantly look to give her the unexpected
5) Red Envelop dice (this is a little game we picked up)
6) Full body massages
7) Adult games (strip poker, etc)
8) Different positions / Different locations
9) Love notes
10) Go commando when going out and only tell her after you are out.
11) A dirty little whisper about what I want to do with her later
12) Schedule a date night and take care of the details
The internet is a surprisingly good resource here. Since this is a new requirement of mine, I am expecting several misses while I get use to the new arrangement, but I do like a challenge.
There are bound to be times when her pleasure is satisfied and mine is not. She has followed this pattern several times in the past and it is pretty normal in a WLM dynamic. Still the goal of ensuring her pleasure comes first in this way is something I am glad she made a new rule. It is a way I can stay focused on her through my days, knowing her pleasure is to be first and then, perhaps, mine will follow. On the Around her Finger blog-site this month, there is a letter from a man who describes every time he successfully satisfies his wife, she flips a coin. If the coin shows one thing, he is permitted a subsequent release. If not, he need wait until next time. This ensures her sexual needs are always more satisfied then his, to the tune of 2 to 1.