The Tease & Denial Tool:

Quoting from Emily & Ken Addison's "Around her Finger" web-site, "When first experiencing this intentional arousal and denial, most men are amazed at what it does to their brain chemistry. The intensity of the feelings that men have for their wives goes through the ceiling. Men literally find themselves anxious to do something, anything, to please their wives."

The first times my wife used T&D techniques, I experienced what is described above. With my wife in authority over me, I felt content in submitting to her authority easier then I had expected. When T&D was used, I felt compelled to server her. I would stand next to the bed in the morning waiting for her to wake so I could kiss her feet as she draped them over the edge of the bed. I would hover near her in hopes she would ask me for some service and then if she did, I would cause a ruckus trying to fulfill her request. I would bombard her with e-mails through the day with how strong my desire to serve her was. She finally confronted me and told me she found this overt submissive attitude uncomfortable to her. When she told me this, I realized she was right. How annoying would it be to live with a jumpy husband like that. I told her I think I could change my behavior to how she would be more comfortable now that I knew what I was doing wrong. It really took almost no effort on my part. Even though I am often cowering to fall into an overtly submissive behavior, I just maintain an outward normalcy. It has improved my wife's enjoyment of our relationship dynamic which is really what this is all about, changing things to how she wants.

T&D cause my contented obedience to change into compelled desire to serve. I have found this is just as described by Emily & Ken Addison. It is definitely a chemical phenomenon. I had done some reading on the topic many months ago and I believe it triggers some primitive mating mechanism in men. This can then be used as a form of authority reinforcing or to increase motivation when my wife thinks it necessary for whatever reason. Knowing she wants me to continue to maintain outward normalcy through this makes it something that has all the benefits and none of the unpleasant side effects and both of us are satisfied with the results.

Now, when my wife wants to give my motivation a jump start, she will do things that she knows leads to me becoming aroused also knowing that this will lead to an increase in my desire to serve her. This takes many forms. My wife is a creative person and I enjoy being in her service because she is good at reacting imaginatively in situations as they occur. I am the fortunate recipient of her leadership in our relationship.